New mothers, old mothers .. can we talk?
Let’s talk about Postpartum Depression.
Do I/did I have it? I want to say no and I don’t believe that I have experienced it fully.
What I can say though is that I have gone through the everyday mental struggles taking care of a tiny human. I believe all moms do. Maybe some suffer worse than others. Maybe some hide it better than others. Maybe some don’t even know.
Before I had my tiny human, I didn’t believe it could be a real thing.
I thought maybe some women were just mentally set back more than others or were just pretending.
Was that fair to judge? No, it wasn’t. Who was I to think I knew better than any woman .. let alone a mother?
I hadn’t before experienced the “mom shaming” that occurs .. because DUH, I wasn’t a mom.
Sure, I already knew women were/are the worst in judging others (something I am currently working on in doing less myself). Add all the judging to major lack of sleep, lonliness, and confusion (yes confusion because tiny humans seem alien-like at times); how do you think you’d feel?
I want to say that I don’t battle Postpartum Depression as I do feel the love and support from everyone around me. BUT .. is that all that it takes? My “IDGAF” attitude may be helping as well but my own judgements of myself do build up. Comments from others do build up. I sit, analyze, and read as much as I can about motherhood to ensure I am being the best mother to Claudia that I can be. Most days, I feel that I am doing AMAZING until I have that 1 day where it all seems like I don’t have my shit together. That day is when I relate the most to moms out there who struggle day to day in hoping they are doing their best.
What knocks me down you may ask. “Me” – a SEEMLY strong-willed, blunt, open-minded, confident person.
A comment from a loved one?
A question from someone that makes me think “How are other mothers doing it?”
Seeing/reading another mom’s experiences?
All of the above.
What helps me through the tough days?
Remembering that many moms were before me and many moms will be after me. We all have our different ways in raising our tiny humans. Isn’t that what makes us all different? We all were raised differently and grew up our own ways. It is the natural chain in things.
So .. moms/women .. even dads/men ..friends/family/coworkers/strangers … I welcome you to look at me differently.
Question why I still breastfeed..
Question why Claudia co-sleeps with me currently and why she “still” doesn’t sleep through the night..
Question why religion/politics are not apart of our household.. including HATE of any kind..
Question why some days I have my shit together with the perfectly tidied home vs the days where Claudia and I do nothing all day but eat and sleep..
I have answers for you .. whether you agree with me or not. I just ask that you try to keep an open mind while “judging/questioning” me. It’s only fair.
Each day is different than the next. Each emotion is different. That doesn’t mean I am parenting wrong. It doesn’t mean I am a shitty person. I am human and so is my mini me.
We are learning. Together. Separate. All around.